we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
