ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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