Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
