Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
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"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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