just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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