i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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