I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize