There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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