maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's just like the Real World with babies
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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