I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What drink are we having for lunch?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
