So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
