I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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