That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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