trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
