have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize