Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
