I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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