if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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