She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
