She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Bring me that man meat
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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