A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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