I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
