i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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