awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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