yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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