he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
