and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize