Yo dont text me then not text me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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