I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
