the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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