imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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