The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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