Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
