ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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