would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
