i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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