I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
