apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
