I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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