Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
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I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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