i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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