I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
