Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
