i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
