I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
