That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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