dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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