doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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