Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am one with the molecules
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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