we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
