i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize