let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I did not marry a roomba.
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