is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
