I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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