I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize